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The Three Sillies [Feb. 25th, 2008|08:41 pm]
nce upon a time there was a farmer and his wife who had one daughter, and she was courted by a gentleman. Every evening he used to come and see her, and stop to supper at the farmhouse, and the daughter used to be sent down into the cellar to draw the beer for supper. So one evening she had gone down to draw the beer, and she happened to look up at the ceiling while she was drawing, and she saw a mallet stuck in one of the beams. It must have been there a long, long time, but somehow or other she had never noticed it before, and she began a-thinking. And she thought it was very dangerous to have that mallet there, for she said to herself: 'Suppose him and me was to be married, and we was to have a son, and he was to grow up to be a man, and come down into the cellar to draw the beer, like as I'm doing now, and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him, what a dreadful thing it would be!' And she put down the candle and the jug, and sat herself down and began a-crying.
Well, they began to wonder upstairs how it was that she was so long drawing the beer, and her mother went down to see after her, and she found her sitting on the settle crying, and the beer running over the floor. 'Why, whatever is the matter?' said her mother. 'Oh, mother!' says she, 'look at that horrid mallet! Suppose we was to be married, and was to have a son, and he was to grow up, and was to come down to the cellar to draw the beer, and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him, what a dreadful thing it would be!' 'Dear, dear! what a dreadful thing it would be!' said the mother, and she sat down aside of the daughter and started a-crying too. Then after a bit the father began to wonder that they didn't come back, and he went down into the cellar to look after them himself, and there they two sat a-crying, and the beer running all over the floor. 'Whatever is the matter?' says he. 'Why,' says the mother, 'look at that horrid mallet. Just suppose, if our daughter and her sweetheart was to be married, and was to have a son, and he was to grow up, and was to come down into the cellar to draw the beer, and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him, what a dreadful thing it would be!' 'Dear, dear, dear! so it would!' said the father, and he sat himself down aside of the other two, and started a-crying.
Now the gentleman got tired of stopping up in the kitchen by himself, and at last he went down into the cellar, too, to see what they were after; and there they three sat a-crying side by side, and the beer running all over the floor. And he ran straight and turned the tap. Then he said: 'Whatever are you three doing, sitting there crying, and letting the beer run all over the floor?' 'Oh!' says the father, 'look at that horrid mallet! Suppose you and our daughter was to be married, and was to have a son, and he was to grow up, and was to come down into the cellar to draw the beer, and the mallet was to fall on his head and kill him!' And then they all started a-crying worse than before. But the gentleman burst out a-laughing, and reached up and pulled out the mallet, and then he said: 'I've travelled many miles, and I never met three such big sillies as you three before; and now I shall start out on my travels again, and when I can find three bigger sillies than you three, then I'll come back and marry your daughter.' So he wished them good-bye, and started off on his travels, and left them all crying because the girl had lost her sweetheart.
Well, he set out, and he travelled a long way, and at last he came to a woman's cottage that had some grass growing on the roof. And the woman was trying to get her cow to go up a ladder to the grass, and the poor thing durst not go. So the gentleman asked the woman what she was doing. 'Why, lookye,' she said, 'look at all that beautiful grass. I'm going to get the cow on to the roof to eat it. She'll be quite safe, for I shall tie a string round her neck, and pass it down the chimney, and tie it to my wrist as I go about the house, so she can't fall off without my knowing it.' 'Oh, you poor silly!' said the gentleman, 'you should cut the grass and throw it down to the cow!' But the woman thought it was easier to get the cow up
the ladder than to get the grass down, so she pushed her and coaxed her and got her up, and tied a string round her neck, and passed it down the chimney, and fastened it to her own wrist. And the gentleman went on his way, but he hadn't gone far when the cow tumbled off the roof, and hung by the string tied round her neck, and it strangled her. And the weight of the cow tied to her wrist pulled the woman up the chimney, and she stuck fast half-way and was smothered in the soot.
Well, that was one big silly.
And the gentleman went on and on, and he went to an inn to stop the night, and they were so full at the inn that they had to put him in a double-bedded room, and another traveller was to sleep in the other bed. The other man was a very pleasant fellow, and they got very friendly together; but in the morning, when they were both getting up, the gentleman was surprised to see the other hang his trousers on the knobs of the chest of drawers and run across the room and try to jump into them, and he tried over and over again and couldn't manage it; and the gentleman wondered whatever he was doing it for. At last he stopped and wiped his face with his handkerchief. 'Oh dear,' he says, 'I do think trousers are the most awkwardest kind of clothes that ever were. I can't think who could have invented such things. It takes me the best part of an hour to get into mine every morning, and I get so hot! How do you manage yours?' So the gentleman burst out a-laughing, and showed him how to put them on; and he was very much obliged to him, and said he never should have thought of doing it that way.
So that was another big silly.
Then the gentleman went on his travels again; and he came to a village, and outside the village there was a pond, and round the pond was a crowd of people. And they had got rakes, and brooms, and pitchforks reaching into the pond; and the gentleman asked what was the matter.
'Why,' they say, 'matter enough! Moon's tumbled into the pond, and we can't rake her out anyhow!' So the gentleman burst out a-laughing, and told them to look up into the sky, and that it was only the shadow in the water. But they wouldn't listen to him, and abused him shamefully, and he got away as quick as he could.
So there was a whole lot of sillies bigger than them three sillies at home. So the gentleman turned back home and married the farmer' s daughter, and if they didn't live happy for ever after, that's nothing to do with you or me.
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The Wizards of the Westman Islands [Aug. 10th, 2007|10:42 pm]
    When the Black Death swept Iceland, it is said that eighteen wizards formed a partnership and made a compact together. They went out to the Westman Islands and proposed to stay there out of harm's way for as long as possible.
    When, by their arts, they learned that the plague was in retreat, they were curious to discover whether any were left alive on the mainland. To this end they chose one of their number, who was neither greatest nor least among them in magic, and sent him to the mainland. But firt they warned him that if he did not return by Christmas they would send after him an emissary, who would kill him. This was early in Advent.
    The wizards' man now set off on his travels, walked far, and went to many places; but nowhere did he come across a loving soul. The doors of the farmhouses stood wide open, and dead bodies lay within on every side.
    At last, however, he came to a farm where the door was shut. He wondered at this, and the hope of finding a fellow man now awakened in him.
    He knocked at the door, and it was opened by a girl, both young and beautiful. He gave her a greeting, while she flung her arms about his neck and wept tears of joy to see him, for she said, she had thought herself the only human being left alive. She asked him to stay there with her, and this he agreed to do. After this they went inside and talked a great deal together, She asked him whence he came, and whither he was going. He told her, and also that he must return to the Westman Islands by Christmas time. She prayed him nevertheless to stay with her as long as possible, and he so pitied her that he promised he would. She told him that there were none left alive, for she had travelled a week's journey in every direction and found no one.
    Christmas now drew near, and the Westman Islander wanted to leave, but the girl still begged him to stay and said that his comrades could not be so hard-hearted as to pu nish him for kindness to a lonely person like herself. And he allowed himself to be persuaded.
    Christmas Eve came, and he now intended to leave, whatever the girl might say. She saw that no prayers would avail her and said, "Do you suppose you will be able to reach the islands tonight? Would you choose rather to die somewhere on the way than here with me?"
    The man saw that the time was indeed too short and therefore resolved to stay and await death where he was.
    The night went by, and he became very heavy in spirit. But the girl was as gay as might be and asked him if he could see what his fellow islanders were about. He replied that now they had sent the emissary over to the mainland, and it would arrive during the day. He lay down on the bed against the wall, and the girl sat beside him.
    After a while he said that he was beginning to feel drowsy , and this was the assault. Then he fell asleep.
    The girl sat beside him on the bed and from time to time woke him to ask how far the emissary had got and to ease his spirit with sweet words. The nearer the emissary came, though, the heavier his sleep. Finally, having told her that the emissary had reached the boundary of the farm, he fell into a sleep so profound that the girl was unable to wake him.
    Soon after this she saw a brownish-colored cloud enter the house. The cloud moved slowly towards the bed and assumed the shape of a man. The girl asked where it was going. The emissary told her its errand and bade her move away from the bed, "For I cannot climb up into it with you there," it said.
    The girl replied that if she was to do what it asked, then it must do something for her in return.
    The emissary asked what it must do.
    Show her how big it could be, answered the girl.  
    The emissary agreed to do this, and it now grew to a size so enormous that if filled the whole house.
    "Now let me see how small you can be," said the girl.
    The emissary told her that it could turn itself into a fly, and did so. It now tried to crawl under the girl's hand on the bed to get to the man. But the girl was holding the leg-bone of a sheep, and the fly crawled into it; whereupon she quickly plugged the end of it.  She then put the leg-bone in her pocket and tried again to rouse the man. He awakened at once now, wondering greatly to find himself still alive.
    The girl asked him where the emissary had got to, and he replied that he could not tell. Then the girl said that she had long suspected they were not such great wizards in the Westman Islands. The man was now very happy, and they both enjoyed the festival with the greatest satisfaction.
    When New Years approached, however, the man became silent again. The girl asked what ailed him, and he said that now the wizards of the Westman Islands had made another emissary.
    "They have put all the spells on it." he said. "it will come here on New Year's Eve, and I shall not find it easy to escape this time."
      The girl replied that there was no cause to be worried yet. "You have nothing to fear from the emissaries of the Islanders." She said. She was as gay as could be, and he felt ashamed to show that he was quite afraid.
    On New Year's Eve he told her that the emissary had crossed the mainland.
    "It's moving very fast," he said, "for this is an exceptionally powerful one."
    The girl now bade him come out walking with her, which he did. They walked until they came to a thicket, Here she stopped and pulled aside some branches, revealing a flat stone. The girl lifted this stone, and underneath there was an earth house, dark and gloomy inside. There was a dim light though: the burning of human fat in a skull. Beside this lamp there was a pallet, and on it a man was lying. He was somewhat fearful to behold: his eyes blood-red and his look so fierce that ht man from the Westman Islands was afraid (he admittedly was not the bravest of wizards).
    The one on the pallet said, "There must be something amiss, my foster-child, for you to be abroad. It is long since I last saw you, and what can I do for you now?"
    The girl now told him all about her journeys , and of teh man from the Westman Islands, and the first emissary. The other bade her to show him the leg-bone, which she did; whereupon he changed altogether, turning the bone every way and stroking it all over.
    "Now you must help me quickly, foster-father," said the girl, "for see, now the young man is getting drowsy, which is a sign that the second emissary will soon be here."
    The other now took the plug from the end of the leg-bone, and the fly crawled out. Stroking and patting the fly with his finger, enchanting it all the farther,  he said, "Go now. meet all emissaries from the Islands, and swallow them up.
    There was a mighty crash, and the fly flew up and grew so huge that one of its jaws touched the earth, whil the other reached to the sky. In this manner it went to meet all emissaries from the Islands, and the young man was saved.
    The girl and the young Westman Islander now went back to the farm, where they stayed, becoming man and wife, and increased their kin, multiplying and filling the earth.
   
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The Mouse with the Long Tail [Jun. 23rd, 2005|12:07 am]

It is told that once there was a king who had a daughter beautiful beyond words. Marriage proposals came to her from kings and emperors everwhere, but her father refused to give her to anyone, because every night he was awakened by a voice saying, "Don't marry off your daughter! Don't marry off your daughter!"

The poor girl would look at herself in the mirror and ask, "Why can't I marry, beautiful as I am?" Nor could she stop worrying about it. One day while they were all at dinner, she asked her father, "Father, why can't I marry, beautiful as I am? Listen to me: I'm hgiving you two days, and if in that time you don't find someone to betroth me to, I shall kill myself."


"If you put it that way," replied the king, "here's what you have to do: dress up in your Sunday best, go to the window, and the first passer-by will be your husband. And that's that!"

The daughter obediently went to the window in her Sunday best, and what should come down the street but a small mouse with a tail a mile long that smelled to high heaven! The mouse stopped and studied the king's daughter at the window. And the instant she felt those eyes on her she drew away screaming. "Father, what have you done to me? The first passer-by to look at me turns out to be a mouse. Surely you don't expect me to marry a mouse?"

Her father stood in the center of the room with his arms crossed. "I do indeed daughter. What I said goes. you must marry the first interested passer-by." Without delay he wrote and invited all princes and court grandees to his daughter's gala wedding banquet.


With great pomp the guests appeared and took their places at the table. They had all sat down, but the bridegroom was nowhere in sight. Then a scratching was heard on the door, and who should it be but the small mouse with the smelly tail. A lackey in livery opened the door and asked "what do you want?"

"Announce me," said the mouse. "I'm the mouse who's come to wed the princess."

The mous who's come to wed the princess!" announced the butler.

"bring him in," said the king.

The mouse scampered in, darted across the floor, climbed up the armchair next to the princess's, and sat down.

At the sight of the mouse there beside her, the poor maiden turned her head in disgust and shame. But the mouse pretended not to notice, and the more she turned away, the closer he moved to her.

The king told the story to all the guests who, in approval of the king's whims, smiled and said, "Yes, indeed, the mouse ought to be the princess's husband."

Their smiles gave way to laughter, and they proceeded to laugh right in the mouse's face. Mortified, the mouse took the king aside and said, "Listen Majesty, either you warn these people not to make light of me, or suffer the consequences."

He scowled so intensely that the king agreed and, upon their return to the table, ordered everyone to respect the betrothed and cease laughing.

The food was brought in, but the mouse, being short and seated in the armchair, didn't reach up to the table. A cushion was placed under him, but that wasn't enough, so he went and sat in the center of the table.

"Any objections?" he asked, glancing about defiantly.

"No one objects," the kind assured him.

But among the guests was a very fastidious lady who could hardly keep quiet at the sight of a mouse poking his mouth into her food and dragging that long, smelly tail over her neighbors' plates. Once the mouse had finished eating her food and turned to that of the guests, she blurted out, "How filthy! WHo ever saw anything so disgusting! I can't believe my eyes when I see such things at the king's table!"

Whiskers bristling, the mouse leveled his muzzle at her, then leaped furiously up and down the table lashing his talil, flying in the guests' faces, and snapping their beards and wigs: everything his tail hit disapeeared immediatly-soup tureens, fruit bowls, plates, cutlery and then, one by one, all the guests; the table also disappeared, along with the palace, and all that remained was one cast deserted plane.

Finding herself alone and abandoned in the middle of this wasteland, the princess started crying and saying:

"Alas my mouse!
My loathing has changed to longing!"

Repeating those words, she set out on foot, with no idea where she was going.

she met a hermit, who asked, "What are you doing in these wilds my good maiden? Heaven help you if you meet a lion or an ogress!"

"Don't speak to me of such things," said the princess. "All I want is to find my mouse. My loathing has changed to longing."

"I don't know what to tell you, my girl," said the hermit. "keep on going until you meet a hermit older than I am who might be able to advise you."

She continued on her way, constantly repeating, "Alas my mouse..." until she met the other hermit, who said, "What you must do is dig a hole in the ground, squeeze into it, then see what happens."

The poor girl removed the hairpin from her hair, having nothing else to dig with, and dug and dug until she made a hole in the ground the size of herself. Then she squeezed into it and came out in a dark and spacious cave. "Whatever this leads to," she said and stared walking. The cave was full of cobwebs that stuck to her face, adn the more of them she brushed off, the more she then found on her. After a day's walk she heard one foot in the water, but the fishpond was dep. She could not go forward, nor could she turn back, for the hole had closed behind her. "Alas, my mouse! Alas my mouse!" she repeated. At that, water began rising all around her. There was no escape, so she plunged into the fishpond.

When she was underwater, she saw that she was not underwater, but in a large place. The first room was all in crystal, the second all in velvet, and the third all in sequins. So she wandered from room to room over precious carpets and lighted by glittering lamps, constantly repeating

"Alas, my mouse!
My loathing has changed to longing!"

She came to a sumptuously laid table and sat down and ate. Then she went into a bedroom, where she got in bed and went to sleep. Then she heard the rustle made by a mouse scampering about. She opened her eyes, but all was dark. She heard the mouse running through the room, climbing up on the bed, slipping under the covers, and all of a sudden he was stroking her face, emitting little squeaks as he did so. She dared not say anything, and remained huddled up in a corver of the bed trembling.

The next morning she rose and wandered through the palace again, but still saw no one. That night the table was laid as before, so she ate went to bed. Once meore she heard the mouse running through the room and coming almost up to her face, but she didn't dare say a word.

The third night when she heard the rustle, she took heart and said:

"Alas, my mouse!
My loathing has changed to longing!"

"Light the lamp," said a voice.

The princess lit a candle, but instead of the mouse she saw a handsome youth.<

"I am the mouse with the smelly tail," said the young man. "To free me from the spell that transformed me, I had to meet a beautiful maiden who would fall in love with me and suffer all that you have suffered."

Imagine the joy of the princess. The couple left the cave immediately and got married.

They lived happily ever after,
While here we sit picking our teeth.

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Akvan [Jun. 2nd, 2005|03:33 pm]
(Ancient Persia)

Akvan - "Evil Mind" - is an important Pesian div with unlimited powers and incredible strenght. He has the typical demonic wide mouth, fangs, and horns. He wars a traditional short skirt, his not quite hidden tail flashing warning as to his nature, and has curved, clawlike toenails on his wide flat feet.
Akvan can be found in the Persian epic poem Shah-Nameh (the Book of Kings), written by Firduasi for the Sultan Mahmud of Ghazna in 1009. A div is an evil spirit whose intent is to do harm to humans, spreading lies and destruction for the sheer pleasure of it. But Akcan, one of its very powerful species, has little intelligence and is mercifully predictable- he will always do the exact opposite of whatever is asked of him.
LORE
Rustem, the hero of the Shah-Nameh, was barely recovered from an important encounter with the larger but similar looking species, Dic SPid (white demon) whom he magaged to quell in the mountains of Tabaristan. WHile Rustem slept, exhausted from his last battle, Akvan came upon him with a suprise attack. Certain of victory, Akvan asked which kind of death the hero might prefer. Would he rather be thrown from the mountain top and devoured by the beasts on the rocks below, or perhaps thrown into the seaand devoured by whales? Rustem, aware of Akvan's contrarian nature, opted for the mountain toss. He was thus thrown into the sea. He of course was a strong swimmerquite able to navigate his way out of this soft landing- he swam safely to shore. After a remarkable career of dragon and demon quelling, Rustem's life was prematurely ended by an evil human king who lured him on horseback into a pit filled with spears. As Rustem died he managed to kill the king with his bow and arrow.
DISPELLING AND DISARMING TECHNIQUES
All demons have some area of weakness or fatal flaw and it is important to know it. In the case of Div Akvan, his repuation is for always doing the opposite of what is requested is a lifesaver. A clever traveler will trick him everytime.
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The Tale of the Crooked Creature [May. 31st, 2005|09:24 pm]

I can't tell you exactly when this story took place, but it's enough to say that once upon a time a man from Goinge (the highlands in southern Sweden of course) was driving on the plains with a wagonload of hops. He'd been gone for only a few days when he ran out of feed for his horse. But he wasn't worried; when he came to a clover field, he got off his wagon, took his sickle, and cut himself some fodder.

At that moment the local field guard (who were men these swedish villages employed to stand watch and protect the field from harm of man or beast)came along, and the traveler got scared and drove off, leaving the sickle behind. When the guard saw the sickle, he thought it must be some kind of strange animal, for you see, the plains people don't have sickles, and he'd never seen one before. He ran off to blow the village horn, and when all the villagers had gathered around, he said, "It seems that some kind of crooked creature has come to our fields, and he's already eaten up some of the grass."

At first the men stood around thinking, but then they each grabbed a staff and went off to the field. There they found the dangerous creature asleep- they could tell it was sleeping because it didn't move at all. One of the bravest stepped up and struck the creature with his staff as hard as he could. But the creature jumped up and fastened itself around the alderman's neck. When the townspeople saw this, they rushed forward and started to pull it off, for they thought- and you can understand why- that it might hurt him. But they sliced off the alderman's head, and that was the end of him and the story as well.

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